My Blog

2010-10-16T10:24:00.000-05:00

I know nobody reads this, but if you do happen to see this post please pray for me as I just found out I am pregnant again. Of course I find out on Sat morning and can't call the Dr. until Monday. I'm a little nervous about it because it did happen the first time we tried again. I am not supposed to even be able to get pregnant, let alone on the first month of trying. I think being in Jamaica helped. I also think I have been listening to when God thinks the right time is and going with that rather than just deciding for myself. Hopefully this time will be easier! Also please pray for my next door neighbor and good friend. They are having a really tough time and might have to move because her husband has been working in Texas and we don't really live near Texas. They just can't do it anymore so they might have to move to a less expensive house so they don't get in over their heads. Of course I do not want that to happen and I anticipate needing (ok, maybe wanting) to have her here before and after the baby is born. I will definitely need her if there are problems. Thanks!!

2010-05-12T20:45:00.000-05:00

I was supposed to be having a baby today. Nobody remembered but me, not even Nick.

30 day shred

2010-03-30T00:30:00.002-05:00

I re-started the 30 day shred with April and some other ladies. So far I missed one day. My wrist is killing me all the time now. I hurt it snowboarding last month and it was doing a lot better but the pushups really kill me. The have you doing some right away in the video and that is the worst. I can't even hold myself up with that arm anymore. It had been ok as long as I didn't go down into a push up (the wrist beds when you do) but now it just gives out right away in the beginning. started doing sit up instead and then doing pushups on a fist at the end of the video. My wrist doesn't bend when I do them on a fist and it hurts a lot less at the end. I assume it's because I am all warmed up and my blood is flowing? Who knows. I have been walking on the treadmill and doing an iFit program too. I haven't weighted myself in a few days but so fat I am down 13.5 pounds since I started (and stopped and started again lol) in January. We leave for our wedding on April 16th so I hope to be down 20 or so total by then.

Date?

2010-01-24T00:02:00.003-06:00

How on earth do I get this thing to show the date I posted? It shows the time but not the date. I swear I have the date enabled in the settings are but I am clearly doing something wrong. Also, why are some of my titles and times a different color? I know nobody reads this thing but maybe someone will and they will tell me! lol

Awesome!!

2009-11-08T10:55:00.002-06:00

We are getting ready to go to the dreaded birthday party and I find out that the baby who was born on the same day mine died will be there. I had expected them not to go since they have never gone to any of her other birthday parties. I really don't want to see him yet. Our daughters were born a 4 weeks apart and then they had this boy so people naturally ask when we will having our next baby. We also both have older sons. There are a lot of similarities between us so they expect us to have a new baby by now or be working on one. I really don't want to do this. Between the new baby, pregnant mom and guy who has heard that we are having a baby now and does not believe me when I say we are not, this should be awful. If we were already engaged I could deflect all that with my bigger news but we are not yet. Most of these people do not know me very well so they are not going to really know what else to say. I have nothing else more exciting for them. I am really afraid they are going to ask us to stay after the party since we live 45 min away and rarely get up there. Hopefully she is too tired or something. I am about to cry right now because I feel like everyone is going to think I am being stupid by being upset. I don't want to tell Nick becuase he is going to say something that makes me more upset. He will probably tell me not to go. I am not an idiot. If it were that easy I could have some up with that stellar solution on my own. I want to go. Lily is all into "horseies" right now. We saw them at the apple orchard adn we rode the carousel at the mall for the first (and second) time yesterday. I want to be with ehr when she gets to ride a pony. I want to take a picture of it. I want to do that (slightly) more than I don't want to go to the party. I don't want him to tell me something like that, I just want him to fix it. Or for them to cancel the party so I don't have to deal with it at all. I am going to cry. I feel like such an idiot because this doesn't seem to bother anyone else anymore.

to birthday party, or not to birthday party?

2009-11-07T00:15:00.002-06:00

Our friends daughter is turning 3 and having a party on Sunday. I guess it will be fun and I really want to go only because there are going to be ponies and I want Lily to be able to ride a pony and I want to be there to see her do it. I need to be there to take photos of the event because Nick will not be able to do it well, especially while walking along side her which I imagine he will do. The problem here is that the mom is pregnant and I do not want to see her. Normal pregnant people do not bother me. One of my Cub Scout friends had a baby girl just couple months ago and I really liked seeing her. I was excited to see her actually. I really wanted to hold her but I was feeling a little contagious so I didn't. This mom does bother me. I don't know why exactly. She constantly whines and complains and bitches about being pregnant. ALL THE TIME! We are talking multiple facebook updates every day doing nothing more than complaining about being pregnant. Um, didn't you get pregnant on purpose? This is your second child, were you not aware of the morning sickness and heartburn? She has zero complications and her morning sickness is actually only in the morning! ONLY IN THE MORNING!!! Imagine the luck! Oh how I would love to have had that pregnancy. I won't even get into the complications and pain I had in the first two. It was pretty bad but I know darn well that it could have been a lot worse. I was blessed with two healthy kids out of three and I did not even have to have c-sections. Thank God for that. I would have done anything for the last one to have been awful and drawn out too. Forget about having the uneventful pregnancy like she is having, I would have taken the crappiest one available! Liam was born 20 days late (yes, 20, 2-0, twenty) and I thought it would never end. I would have LOVED for the last one to go that long. When she whines that the only good thing about her pregnancy is the heartburn I just want to smack her. Hello!! Your baby is fine. Is that not the good thing??! How insulting to the baby. The only good thing about her pregnancy is the heartburn! How dare you complain nonstop when there is nothing actually wrong with you or your child. How dare you complain on facebook to people you know have lost babies, some recently. Some of our other friends have tried so many times and lost them all. I don't know exactly how many but I want to say 4 or 5. What we wouldn't give to have her problems!! It is more than I can take. If I have to hear her to this in person I will flip. She acts so childish now that the facebook is so cool. It is like talking to a 15 year old. We were at their house and all I heard about for hours was facebook drama. I was still boycotting at that time. (I am still mad at facebook for deleting my school when I first made an account years and years ago when it was college only but that is another story.) It was downright pathetic. She used to be pretty cool before she got on facebook. Now I just can't stand her really. I went through a lot with all of the pregnancies I have had but I never walked around complainging about it to whoever was within earshot. If someone asked a specific question I wouldn't lie but I saw no reason to whine about how much pain I was in. It sure wasn't going to help anything and my baby was ok. I know people are going to ask when we are having another baby because the second your baby is born people have you working on another one. I don't really want to be asked that question. I don't want to talk about having a baby or not having one or hear about other people having one. I don't want to go to this party. Maybe we can just get Lily her own pony. That is clearly the better option. Might as well get Liam one too so they don't fight. Maybe we can breed them if we ever need to get a future kid their own pony. No problem. Anyway, this is going to be really hard and I don't want to go but I know that if I don't go I am going to regret it. I haven't told Nick any of this because they are mainly his friends and I don't want him to think I am lame. He is going to say something really practical and obnoxious that does not help me at all and just makes me mad like "Just delete her from your friends on facebook." Oh well. I guess I can't avoid them forever. I really hope she isn't showing and nobody mentions it. Riiiiight.

Fonzie

2009-10-20T16:00:00.005-05:00

LOL We got this cow costume on sale at Petsmart today. Lily is going to be Ming Ming this year so now she can save the baby cow! Fonzie just LOVES it by the way. Sort of. As long as the hood is down.

I think I found the good

2009-10-07T18:10:00.005-05:00

Today we (finally) picked out a diamond for my ring that I don't actually have yet. I picked out a setting a week or so ago but had not picked out a diamond yet. I found plenty that looked great but that's not good enough. We can't buy things without looking on the internet first. Nick has made spreadsheets and lists like you wouldn't believe. We have looked at dozens of them online and plenty locally. Being pretty isn't good enough it seems, Nick needs to make sure he is getting absolutely the most for his money. I thought that if it looks nice and you can afford it then it is good enough. Not so. Anyway, finally today we ordered one online. It is coming from St Louis and should be here on Tuesday. We will have to see if internet diamonds are as good of a deal as they seem to be. It is exciting to know that one is finally on its way. Hopefully soon I will actually get to wear it. The idea of a surprise proposal is out of the picture now but I don't think Nick would have been able to pick a ring out on his own, it would have been too much stress for him because he does not like shopping and he would not know what to pick. The only surprise now is when it will happen and what the whole ring looks like put together.

That is the "good" in all of this. Had we not lost this baby I do not think we would be getting married. That doesn't make sense when I say it out loud, er write it on my computer. Had I not been so upset about everything and how he was handling it I do not think we would have talked about it at all and Nick would still have been content to go on as we were. Is this all the good that will come from this? I hope not because I think we could have gotten there on our own eventually.

Tonight I brought a meal over to the K family. The dad recently had surgery to remove a brain tumor and will be off of work for a while still. He looks great though still seems a bit weak. The recent updates say he is gaining some of the strength back in his left (? maybe right) side which he had lost prior to being diagnosed. They have 4 kids who seem to be doing well too. Their little girl will be turning 4 on my birthday! Worrying about them and being able to help in a small way really helped me to heal a little better I think. I am not too worried though. I really feel like everything will be ok for them soon.

K family update

2009-09-30T22:47:00.000-05:00

E is doing really well today. Many of his lines are out and he has been walking around a bit (very short walks). He was unbalanced initially, but it has progressively improved. He has doctors orders to move to the regular floor, but a bed isn't open right now so he got to enjoy the private ICU room for the day (and maybe the whole night). He may even get to come home tomorrow.

Now our new drama, B (7th grader) came home from school today not feeling well. I made him stay home when we went to see E. This evening his fever is on the rise.... Yuck!

It's never easy is it!! We'll see what the doctors & nurses say about that tomorrow.

More prayers needed,

Another update from the K family

2009-09-29T18:45:00.002-05:00

Whew - this was a long day!

The surgeon was still pretty confident that the tumor was benign and we'll know definite results of that in a week or so. However, there was a part of the tumor that grew into the dura (lining of the brain) so he said it's hard to know if all the tumor was out. E will have a MRI in a few weeks to check that out but he'll most likely have to have gamma knife radiation in that area to make sure the tumor is all gone. And we definitely want to make sure it's all out!

As for his recovery, E likes to keep it... interesting. He was doing fairly well initially, but after settling into ICU, he began to have some leg tremors and other symptoms. The nurse thought he might be having mini seizures, so a neurologist was called. The neurologist determined that brain swelling (very normal after surgery) was causing the tremors, etc and it should resolve in a few days. Yeah - good news!

And E is thrilled as he seems to have recovered most of his leg strength and feeling already!

He's still being closely monitored overnight in ICU, but all is well for now.

I believe in the power of prayer!

Update on the K family

2009-09-29T12:35:00.001-05:00

Just got this email. E had his surgery this morning. Thankfully everything went well!

E's out of surgery. The surgery went well, and the surgeon said that it "looks very benign." They won't find out for sure for a week or two, but things look good. She's going to see him in recovery, and then he'll be in ICU.

Thank you to everyone for their prayers and support!

Please pray for this family.

2009-09-24T10:00:00.004-05:00

Today I got an email about the dad (E) of one of Liam's school mates. They have not been in the same class but were in the same cub scout den and are on the same basketball team every year. The family has 4 kids from about 4-13. Three boys and a girl.

Family and Friends

We have tough news to share with everyone. This past Monday, we found out that E has a meningioma - otherwise known as a brain tumor. We are still reeling from the news and appreciate any support and prayers you can send our way. However, we are relieved to know the cause of E’s symptoms, and to know that something can be done to fix it.

We told the kids and they seemed to take it very well.

Here’s the story:

Several weeks ago E’s right side starting showing signs of weakness and tingling in both his arm and leg although he’s had periodic weakness for awhile. He went to his doctor and several tests were ordered including a MRI scan which he had last Friday. We had a phone call from his doctor by Monday afternoon with the results showing a 4.5 cm tumor – about golf ball size. Most meningiomas are benign, so we’re holding our breath on that one, but won’t find out until after the surgery.

I worked as a neurosurgery nurse before I had kids so we immediately contacted a surgeon I worked with and respected. We consulted with him today (Wednesday) and the surgery is scheduled forTuesday morning (29th). E will be in the ICU for 24 hours of monitoring post-op and then move to a regular room until hopefully being discharged Friday. We really don’t know how long he’ll be off of work, but probably at least 4 weeks and possibly up to 10 weeks. We’re hoping that he’ll regain all his strength on his right side.

Many of you recall that a tumor was found on E’s thyroid in February 2007 and it was removed in August 2007 and found to be thyroid cancer. He went through the treatment for that and has had no issues on all of his rechecks. Thyroid cancer is a “good” kind of cancer with a low rate of recurrence and is easy to treat. The neurosurgeon is fairly confidant that it is a primary benign tumor and it appears to be unrelated to the thyroid cancer.

Also, some of you know that during that same period, E’s dad had a seizure and was diagnosed with a brain tumor. It was removed in March 2007 and determined to be a glioblastoma multiforme – it was a cancerous and aggressive tumor. His dad has undergone miraculous treatment with a study at Duke University over the past several years and is doing well. The surgeon was pretty confidant that E’s tumor is unrelated to that history also.

Feel free to pass the news on to those we might have missed as we feel the more prayers coming our way the better! We’ll try to keep everyone updated via email or facebook.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts and prayers,

K Family

First Post

2009-08-11T21:05:00.001-05:00

Hi, I am Melody and this is my blog. I am not really sure what it will become but I anticipate posting about photography, cooking, crocheting and whatever else goes on in my life. Thanks for reading!